The Perfectionist's Paradox: Harnessing Your Drive Without Sacrificing Yourself

Do you consider yourself a perfectionist or high achiever? If so, you likely find yourself giving your all, yet rarely feeling completely satisfied.

I know perfectionism gets a bad rap, but it can be a powerful force! Your high achieving nature has likely fueled numerous successes and given you an edge in your ambitions.

However, when perfectionism becomes maladaptive, it can create more harm than good. It can lead to an endless pursuit of an unattainable ideal, fueled by a deep-seated belief that you are inherently unworthy until you achieve that elusive perfection.

Here’s what I mean… take this quote, “You can never become perfect, and you are already perfect.”

People in an adaptive perfectionistic mindset understand the truth in both these statements. They recognize that humans are inherently imperfect and that true perfection is an illusion. They also embrace the inherent worth and wholeness of their being – they don't need to earn their value.

People in a maladaptive perfectionistic mindset reject both these statements such that they relentlessly pursue perfection at-all-costs , which is driven by the belief that their worth is contingent on achieving that unattainable standard.

If you find yourself in the maladaptive category, have no fear! You can transition to adaptive perfectionism. You can break free from the cycle of maladaptive perfectionism and embrace a more fulfilling and balanced approach to life. By cultivating a growth mindset, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals, you can retain your drive and ambition while cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself.

Here’s one way to start this practice… ask yourself these two questions whenever you're striving for a goal:

1. How am I striving?

   • Are you being flexible and adaptable in your approach?

   • Are you honoring your values?

2. Why am I striving?

   • Are you driven by a desire to grown and learn, or by a need to prove your worth?

These questions will help you identify if your pursuit of excellence is aligned with your values and supported by a healthy sense of self-worth.

Ready to harness your perfectionistic superpower for good? Head on over to the Contact Tab and book yourself a free consultation call with me today!

Schafler, K. M. (2023). The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. Portfolio.